“Mr. Boudreaux, I am Smartr Thanu, the Director of Diversity and Fairness for the City of Berkeley, California. My associate, Ms. Ure Rong, the city’s Happiness Coordinator and I have been given a very unpleasant task. Our city’s lakes and streams are overrun with Water Moccasins. We must rid the city of these fellow creatures who cause an interruption in our community’s pursuit of its goals of Happiness, Fairness, and Justice. Your name was given to me by a friend.